The REAL Things This Mommy Can't Live Without

You've all seen the posts- the ones where Mommies post really important things, whether they be toys, clothes, blankets, pacifiers, bottles, etc. that have really helped them survive whatever phase of mommyhood they currently find themselves in. Sure, those are all fine and great and helpful at best- but I'm here to share with you the things I couldn't possibly survive any day without. 
And of course, I'm doing so in true AP-style.
1. Car iPhone ChargerFor whatever reason, the last thirty minutes of any long car trip always seem to bring out the best in Carter. And by "best" I mean "pterodactyl screams, head-thrashing and seat-kicking."  At this point he has usually exhausted his usual repertoire of car toys- including but not limited to an Elmo microphone, set of stacking blocks, plastic keys, hanging links, rubber soccer ball, singing soccer ball and/or 357 Crunchies. This is when I  break out the big guns and unplug the car iPhone charger. Go ahead and laugh, but it's good for at least another 18-20 minutes of silent C. So what if he might gnaw on the little metal end a bit? I'm sure it only strengthens his gums. 
2. Empty Red Solo CupOne of C's favorite activities is to raid the pantry for any and all Crunchies, Puffs and Red Solo Cups. I don't quite understand the attraction, but let me tell you. It is quite the love affair. C has been known to de-stack a Costco Wholesale size pack of Red Solo Cups in under 5 minutes. I swear this must be some sort of a record. He will then proceed to scatter them about the kitchen, absconding with one or two or ten of them which I will later find in his room or in the dog's bed. Hey, whatever gives Mama 3 minutes to sit down and watch her "stories." And by "stories" I mean Housewives Reunions and Teen Mom recaps. 
3. Wall iPhone ChargerI know what you're thinking, "You're not going to tell us that you let him play with it while it's plugged in, right AP?" And you're right, Loyals. C has mastered the art of unplugging this wall iPhone Charger just so that he can trail it behind him as he walks all over the house. It's almost as if he's walking a pretend puppy. Hmm.. Maybe he's trying to tell us something? See Husband? I  was right. C totally wants another Sheepie brother...
4. Car Keys with Coach Lobster Key FobPerfect for throwing from a grocery cart while standing in line to checkout while some imbecile tries to abuse the coupon system and simultaneously write out the world's slowest check. I mean, who writes checks anymore anyways? The Coach Lobster Key Fob is especially important because it's delicious. Apparently. So say the little Carter teeth marks that now adorn it.  
5. Library Card/DSW Customer Card/Safeway Club CardPlease note, never, under any circumstance, no matter how bad the meltdown, hand your child your credit card. Or debit card or any other piece of plastic living in your wallet that you cannot live without. Why? Regardless of how much of an "angel" your Johnny, Susan or Sally is, they will lose it. The millisecond that it takes to blink your eye? Gone. Never to be seen again. How this happens, I may never know. It's magic. However, I will say that these cards have saved many a Mama AP's hiney when out and about sans toys. 
6. Dog LeashAfter tiring of dragging the iPhone Wall Charger about the house, C will most often look for the dog leash. He loves this thing so much that the Husband and I actually mulled over buying him a brand new one of is own. It doesn't always need to be attached to the dog, either. As a matter of fact, it may actually be even more fun when not clipped to the neck of a 108lb Sheepdog. Although, Carter and Sheepie have also been known for play for at LEAST thirty minutes this way. That's practically eternity in this Mama's book.
7. Endless looped video of The WigglesIt's true. I've been holding out on you. All that talk about Mickey and The Hot Dog Song? Ha! Sure, C loves himself a good showing of the mouse with the creepy voice and big white hands, but it isn't until The Wiggles make an appearance that C becomes entranced. Literally, his eyes go all glassy and once would think that he's either just seen a ghost or he's suddenly been frozen in time. I can almost watch the drool beads forming on the corners of his mouth. Sure, the thought of 4 Australian men might cause me to do the same, however something tells me The Wiggles may be a bit light in their.. loafers. "Mash Bahnah-nah, mash bahnah-nah..."
8. ChardonnayWell, this is just self-explanatory. 

There you have it, Loyals. Straight from the mouth of babes sassy blog writers. Happy Monday! 

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