The Post Where I Talk About Formula Feeding.

Before you come at me with guns a' blazing, take a deep breath and understand that this post is not about formula versus breast. Did you hear me? IT'S NOT ABOUT FORMULA VERSUS BREAST. Whoever coined that phrase, "breast is best?"  It's a good thing that statement is open-ended. Best. Best for what? Best for you? Best for me? Best.


I whole heartedly agree that the benefits of giving your baby breastmilk are innumerable, the most important being the transfer of immunities from mother to baby. I know you've read the books. We've all read the books. As a nurse with an extensive medical background and having sat through years of nutrition classes, I could go all "journal" on your butts and quote information in APA format about the benefits of breastmilk, but that's not my desire and that's not what I'm here to do.

You never know the mom you're going to be until you're wearing your mom shoes and you're in that moment. Facing your first mom-stacle. Before having Carter, I anticipated breastfeeding him until he was 12. Of course, I'm kidding but I know you catch my drift. I had all intents to breastfeed him until he was at least a year old, provided that everything was honky dory. I assumed breastfeeding was going to be a breeze and go ahead and pull out your pitchforks. . . but for us? It was. C latched on beautifully and away we went. So what if he favored the left side? My letdown was quicker, we were both happier when he was nursing on that side and I had already relegated myself to the fact that I would enter my thirties with lopsided knockers. Formula was a four-letter word in our house and in the back of my mind, I staunchly refused to introduce that stuff to within miles of my happy, healthy baby. I thought of myself as a "crunchy baby-wearing, breastfeeding mama," and secretly loved that association.


From the getgo, C had a ravenous appetite. Looking back, I'm not sure he ever drank the typical "2-3 ounces every 2-3 hours," like most babies his age were drinking. I speak with jest, but I'm almost certain he was pulled out from my womb drinking 4-5 ounces every 2 hours. I know, unheard of. But keep in mind that Carter was nearly 10 pounds at birth. He might as well have been born asking for a cheeseburger. We nursed around the clock. When we weren't nursing, I was pumping. When I wasn't pumping, I was nursing. I was never able to pack away a freezer stash because the kid was always hungry. Not to mention that I valued whatever meager five hours of interrupted sleep I could garner at night and I refused to wake up and pump then.

Carter thrived, gaining weight left and right and we continued along this path for nearly three and a half months. When the pediatrician patted my hand and told me, "what a great job I was doing, exclusively breastfeeding," I may have even turned my nose up in the air a bit.. fueled by pride that I did this. All by myself. I was responsible for my son's growth.

Towards the end of his third month, we developed supply and demand issues. As in, Carter was demanding and I wasn't supplying. I drank gallons of water, ate loads of oatmeal. I tried the supplements. Sure, they all worked a little here and there, but Carter was growing increasingly frustrated and less satiated. Carter was hungry and I couldn't fill his tummy. And as frustrated as he grew, I did too. No longer did we enjoy our nursing sessions. They became a struggle of left boob, right boob, pump, pump pump. Left boob again. Cradling, football'ing. Pump. Pump. Pump. Wash, rinse, repeat.  

So, I did something I never thought I would do. I dusted off that loathed can of formula in the cabinet and started supplementing. Me, the mom who never thought a drop of formula would ever grace her son's lips. Me, the mom who swore she would exclusively breastfeed until her son was twelve. And you know what? It was so much easier than I ever anticipated.

"Supplementing" very quickly became "exclusively." Thankfully, Carter took to the formula without the smallest of issue. Thankfully, I relinquished any and all guilt that I had ever associated with formula feeding and we were suddenly satiated and at peace. Why did I ever feel guilty in the first place?

What I really want to touch upon is the guilt that I associated with formula feeding. The guilt that so many of us "formula" moms associate with formula feeding. And the fact that we always feel like we need to defend our decision to do so. We can't just ever say, "No, my baby is formula fed." It's always, "No, my baby is given formula because..." My milk never came in. I never produced enough. He never latched on correctly. I just didn't want to. 

For those of you Mama's out there that worry about the expense? I get that. Formula is expensive. We spend roughly $50-$65 a month on C's formula. Did we plan it that way? No! Did we have to rework the entire budget to figure out where we were going to pull that extra money from? Yes! But out of necessity, we did it. Remember, the bottom line is a HAPPY, HEALTHY, THRIVING baby. 

Why can't women be supportive of our decision to formula feed? For pete's sake, why can't we all just get along? We're all looking to acheieve the same result. A happy, healthy, thriving baby. If one woman comes by that goal by breastfeeding and another woman, formula, so be it! Neither should be judged for their decisions. No judgies, I say!

I'm only speaking for myself when I say this, but the introduction of formula was a weight off of this tired and frustrated Mama's shoulders. I continued to pump a little bit here and there and used what I pumped when I mixed Carter's rice and oatmeal cereals. At the same time? For me, formula feeding was a liberating experience. And when the pediatrician pats my hand and tells me, "what a great job you're doing, formula feeding," I pat myself on the back and think, "I'm STILL responsible for my son's growth. He's happy and he's healthy and he's thriving."


I think it's important for some Mama's out there to hear me when I say this:

I never felt like I was letting my son down or short-changing him a healthier life when it came time to introduce formula.


But the stares from other breastfeeding Mama's, from strangers in the mall and the library and the supermarket?  The Judgies that I've faced? Well, they've made me think twice. They've made me question MY decisions for my child. It has not made for an easy road. Where did this guilt stem from? What was my alternative? I couldn't continue to frustrate the both of us as I tried desperately to increase supply, forcing him to suckle when what he needed most wasn't even there.


For us? Formula IS the best. It's the best we can do. It's the best thing I can do for my son.

If you're currently nursing and experiencing difficulties, I would stand behind you 110% and encourage you to push through, to keep nursing, to keep traveling down that road because like many breastfeeding mama's will tell you.. it get's easier. 

If you're currently nursing and experiencing difficulties and are thinking about introducing formula? I would stand behind you 110% and share my experience. Because you know what? For some of us? Like I said a minute ago, formula is best. Formula is the best for me. For Carter. For our situation.


It hurts my heart that sometimes we formula moms feel "bullied" for the decisions we've made. Kind of like we should be wearing a scarlet "F," rather than the literary scarlet "A," for choosing to introduce formula. For some of us, it's more than a choice. It's what we need to do in order to keep our babies healthy, happy and thriving.  


And yes, earlier in my post I said that introducing formula was "liberating." For me? It was as if I was given a piece of myself back. Between my son and my husband, I feel like I am constantly giving pieces of myself away. And when I suddenly realized that my ladies were.. "mine," again? It was THE most empowering feeling in the world. For the first time since I had Carter, I felt not only like a Mom, but also like myself again.


I hope by now you've put away your guns and your pitchforks. This post wasn't meant to be judgemental by any sorts and after hours of proofreading, I don't believe that it comes across that way. The bottom line is this:

I just want to be able to write about, to stand proud about, my decision to formula feed my baby. I'm a crunchy, baby-wearing, formula-feeding Mama and I love that association. 

If you have any questions about formula feeding or about the decision I made to use formula, you can email me at iloveyoumorethancarrots(at)gmail.com.


I sincerely thought about turning comments off on this post, something I've never felt pressure to do in the two years that I have blogged, so if you decide to comment, just remember those wise words your Mama told you, "if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all."

Happy Weekend, readers. There are some new and exciting things happening around these parts and I can't wait to share them with you throughout the course of this love month.